Standing Alone

"The goal was never simply to be different. The goal was to become more like Jesus."

There comes a point in every believer's journey when following Jesus becomes more than something we say. It becomes a decision to trust Him when obedience is difficult, when people do not understand us, and when following Him means standing where others may not stand. Faithfulness is not always comfortable, and there may be seasons when choosing Jesus means accepting that not everyone will understand the decision we have made.

I know what it feels like to be different. As an autistic person, I experience and process certain things differently from the people around me. There have been moments when I struggled to understand why communication seemed obvious to others but confusing to me, or why fitting into certain situations seemed easier for everyone else. For a long time, I wondered whether being different meant there was something wrong with me. I sometimes felt as though I was trying to learn the rules of a world that everyone else seemed to understand naturally.

But Jesus began changing the way I understood my difference. He was not asking me to become someone else. He was asking me to become more like Him.

That distinction changed something within me. I began to understand that being autistic was not the same thing as being spiritually incomplete. My differences do not determine my worth, and they do not place me outside the reach of God's love. I do not need to erase who I am in order to belong to Jesus. I need to surrender my heart to Him and allow Him to transform the places in me that need transformation.

That is where the message behind Different by Micah Tyler became meaningful to me. The song challenged me to look beyond simply being different and ask whether I was actually allowing Jesus to change me. There is a difference between being different because of the way we were created or the experiences we have lived through and being changed because we have surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ. My autism is part of my story, but it is not my Savior. My personality is part of who I am, but it is not my identity. My experiences have shaped me, but they do not have the final authority over who I become.

Following Jesus has never been about taking the easiest road. Sometimes He asks us to let go of our need for approval. Sometimes He asks us to admit that we are wrong, forgive someone who hurt us, or refuse to compromise when compromise would be easier. These moments reveal whether following Jesus is simply something we claim or something we are actually willing to live.

Being Misunderstood

There are also moments when standing with Jesus means being misunderstood. I know what it feels like to explain what I mean and still have someone understand my words differently than I intended. I know what it feels like when the way I communicate is not received the way I meant it. Those experiences have taught me that being misunderstood does not automatically mean that I have failed, and it does not mean that I have to spend my life proving myself to everyone.

Jesus understands me completely. That truth has become more important to me than being understood by everyone else. When I remember that Jesus knows my heart, I can stop allowing the opinions of others to determine my worth or dictate how I respond.

The world constantly teaches us to measure ourselves by acceptance. We are encouraged to change our appearance, personality, opinions, and even our convictions so that we can fit comfortably into whatever group surrounds us. Jesus never called His followers to live for the approval of the crowd. He called us to follow Him, and that calling can sometimes be lonely.

God created us for relationship, community, fellowship, and connection, so wanting to belong is not weakness. The danger comes when our desire to belong becomes greater than our desire to obey God. Every believer eventually reaches moments when those desires collide, and we must decide whether we will remain faithful when faithfulness costs us acceptance, speak truth in love when the truth is uncomfortable, and choose obedience when compromise offers an easier path.

Those decisions cannot be answered by words alone. They are answered by the lives we live.

There have been seasons in my own life when I felt as though I was standing by myself. Some of those experiences came because I was misunderstood, while others came because I refused to compromise what I believed was right. I wanted people to understand my heart and recognize that I was not trying to be difficult simply because I was different. But God began teaching me that I do not have to spend my life proving myself to everyone. My responsibility is to remain faithful to Him.

"God was never asking me to fit into the world. He was asking me to follow His Son."

That realization lifted a burden from my heart. I began to understand that I could stop measuring my life by whether everyone accepted me. Being misunderstood did not automatically mean I was doing something wrong, and I did not have to become someone I was never created to be.

Jesus, What Are You Changing In Me?

That question brings the focus back to where it belongs. Being autistic does not excuse sin. Being different does not excuse disobedience, and being misunderstood does not give me permission to respond without love. My experiences may help explain why I see or process certain things differently, but they do not remove my responsibility to follow Jesus.

Jesus is not asking me to change the way my brain works so that I can look like everyone else. He is asking me to let Him change the things within my heart that do not reflect Him. He teaches me patience when I want immediate answers, grace when I feel misunderstood, forgiveness when I have been hurt, humility when I believe I am right, and obedience when my own way feels more comfortable.

That is real change. It is not pretending to be someone else. It is becoming more like Jesus.

There may be seasons when people misunderstand your motives, when your faith costs you friendships, or when your commitment to Christ makes you feel isolated. Do not automatically interpret those moments as evidence that God has left you. Sometimes the places where we feel most alone become the places where we discover His presence most deeply.

Jesus knows what it means to be rejected, misunderstood, falsely accused, and abandoned. He knows what it means to stand when others walk away, yet He remained faithful to the Father's will. Because He walked that road before us, we can follow Him with confidence.

Looking back over my own journey, I can see that some experiences I once considered burdens became places where God taught me something important. Being misunderstood taught me to seek His understanding above the approval of people. Rejection taught me that my identity cannot rest upon whether someone chooses me. Being different taught me that I do not have to become a copy of someone else to have value. Following Jesus taught me that none of those things are the final story.

Jesus Is Still Changing Me.

That means I can be honest about where I am without pretending that I have already arrived. I can acknowledge my weaknesses without allowing them to define me, and I can recognize the ways I still need to grow without believing that my struggles mean God has abandoned me.

The Christian life is not a performance in which we convince everyone that we have everything together. It is a relationship in which we continually surrender ourselves to Jesus and allow Him to continue His work within us. I am still learning, still growing, and still discovering areas where Jesus is calling me to surrender more completely.

Standing Alone Does Not Mean Being Alone.

There is an important difference between the two. I may sometimes feel alone, but I am never abandoned by Jesus. I may not always be understood by people, but Jesus knows me completely. I may sometimes stand apart from the crowd, but I do not have to stand apart from Christ.

The church is still important. Christian fellowship is still important, and relationships are still important. God did not call us to isolate ourselves from everyone around us. He called us to love people while remaining faithful to Him. There will simply be moments when faithfulness requires us to stand where others will not stand.

When Faith Requires You To Stand

If you find yourself standing in a place where you feel misunderstood, remember that your worth does not come from the number of people who understand you. Your worth comes from Jesus Christ. You do not have to change yourself simply to receive the acceptance of people, but you should always remain willing to let Jesus change your heart.

Perhaps you have spent years believing that being different was your greatest burden. Perhaps you have wondered why God allowed you to experience life in ways that sometimes made belonging difficult. Perhaps you have tried so hard to fit in that you forgot who you were. I want you to hear this clearly: you do not have to become someone else to be loved by Jesus.

You Do Not Have To Become Someone Else To Be Loved By Jesus.

He already knows you. He already sees you. He already understands the places where other people may not. His invitation is not to erase your story. His invitation is to surrender your story to Him.

The goal has never been simply to become different. The goal has always been to become more like Jesus. When that becomes the desire of your heart, standing alone no longer has to mean defeat. It can become an expression of faith, an act of worship, and another step in the lifelong journey of being changed.

I may have to stand alone sometimes, but I never have to stand without Jesus. When I choose faithfulness over approval, obedience over comfort, and surrender over control, my life becomes another testimony of what Jesus can do with a surrendered heart.