Changed

"The goal was never to become someone else. The goal was to allow Jesus to change me into who He created me to be."

When I first began thinking about the word Changed, I thought about how much of my life had been shaped by the feeling of being different. I have known what it is like to see things differently, process the world differently, communicate differently, and experience situations in ways that other people did not always understand. As an autistic person, I have spent much of my life learning how to navigate a world that does not always make sense to the way my mind naturally works.

For a long time, I wondered whether being different meant there was something wrong with me. I wondered why certain things seemed easier for other people and why I sometimes struggled with things that appeared simple to everyone else. Being misunderstood can make a person question their identity, especially when they begin believing that the differences others notice must also be the things that make them less valuable.

Jesus began teaching me something different. My autism is not something He needs to erase in order to make me valuable, and being different does not automatically mean being broken. God created me, and He knows every part of me better than I know myself. The work He desires to accomplish in me is not about destroying the person He created. It is about changing my heart so that my life increasingly reflects Him.

That distinction became especially meaningful to me through the song Different by Micah Tyler. The song caused me to think deeply about what it means to live differently because of Jesus. It made me consider whether the difference people see in me is simply part of the way I was created to experience the world, or whether they can also see evidence that Jesus Christ is changing my life.

That question became personal because I do not want my life to be defined only by being different. I want my life to point people toward Jesus. I want people to see more than my personality, my way of thinking, my strengths, my weaknesses, or the things that make me unique. I want them to see what Christ is doing in me.

That does not mean I will suddenly think exactly like everyone else, nor does it mean every struggle will disappear. Autism will not simply disappear because Jesus is changing my heart, and God does not require me to become a different person before He can use me. Instead, whatever He has placed within me can be surrendered to Him and used for His glory while He continues transforming my character.

Being a new creation does not mean becoming someone I was never meant to be. It means that the old ways of living that kept me separated from God no longer have to control me. Jesus gives me a new heart, a new direction, and a new reason for living.

That is the change I have been trying to describe throughout these pages.

Jesus Changes The Heart First

I have learned that real change is not always dramatic. Sometimes it happens quietly in moments that nobody else sees. It happens when I choose forgiveness instead of bitterness, when I stop trying to prove myself to people who have already decided what they think about me, when I choose obedience even though obedience is difficult, and when I admit that I am wrong instead of protecting my pride.

It happens when I stop asking God to change everyone around me and begin asking Him to change me. That may be one of the hardest prayers a person can pray because it requires surrender. It is much easier to point toward someone else's behavior than it is to allow God to examine our own hearts, yet genuine transformation begins when we stop making excuses and allow Jesus to deal honestly with us.

I have not always gotten this right. There have been times when my words said one thing while my actions revealed something completely different. There have been times when I said that I trusted Jesus while still trying to control everything myself, and there have been moments when I wanted the blessings of following Him without the surrender that obedience requires.

Those moments have taught me that saying I love Jesus is not the same thing as living as though I love Him. Faith is not simply what I say with my mouth. Faith becomes visible through the way I live.

That is why the question at the center of this book is not simply, "Am I different?" I already know that I am different. I have lived that reality my entire life. The deeper question is whether Jesus has truly changed me.

Has Jesus truly changed me?

Has He changed the way I respond when I am hurt? Has He changed the way I treat people who disagree with me? Has He changed the way I respond when I am misunderstood? Has He changed what I value, what I pursue, and what I am willing to surrender? These questions matter because Jesus is not interested only in what other people see. He is interested in the heart.

The Person Behind The Difference

I know what it feels like to be reduced to a label. I know what it feels like when people see one characteristic about you and allow that characteristic to become the entire definition of who they believe you are. I do not want to do that to myself, and I do not want this book to do that to anyone else.

I am autistic, but autism is not the entirety of who I am. I am a follower of Jesus Christ. I am a son, a father, a teacher, and a writer. I am a person who has experienced failure, forgiveness, rejection, grace, growth, pain, joy, misunderstanding, and restoration. Most importantly, I am someone who is still being changed by Jesus.

My story is not valuable simply because I am different. My story is valuable because Jesus has met me in the middle of my life and continues to work within me. That is the testimony I want this book to leave behind.

God is not finished with me, and that truth gives me hope. There are still areas of my life that need to be surrendered, attitudes that need to be corrected, wounds that need to heal, habits that need to change, and places where I need to trust Jesus more completely. I am not ashamed to say that because being changed does not mean that I have reached perfection. It means I am no longer satisfied with remaining the same when Jesus is calling me deeper.

The Fire Must Keep Burning

I want the difference Jesus is making in me to become visible, not because I want attention, but because I want people to see Him. I want His love to be seen in the way I treat people, His grace to be seen in the way I forgive, His truth to be seen in the way I live, and His presence to be evident even when I am walking through circumstances that I do not understand.

That means I cannot remain comfortable with simply saying that I am a Christian. I have to allow Jesus to continue changing me. I have to listen when He corrects me, surrender when He asks me to let go, obey when obedience is difficult, and trust Him when I cannot see what comes next.

The goal is not perfection. The goal is surrender, and surrender creates room for transformation.

If you have reached this chapter wondering whether you have truly been changed, do not run from the question. Bring it before Jesus and ask Him to search your heart and reveal what needs to be surrendered. If there are areas of your life that do not reflect Him, do not allow shame to convince you that there is no hope. Bring those areas to Him because His grace is greater than your failure and His mercy is greater than your past.

If you have been misunderstood because of the way you think, communicate, process the world, or experience life, remember that being misunderstood by people does not mean you are unknown to God. He knows you completely, including the parts of you that other people never see, and He is not asking you to become someone else before He can use you. He is asking you to give Him your heart.

One Final Question

As we come to the end of this journey, I want to return to the question that has followed us from the beginning: has Jesus truly changed you?

Has Jesus truly changed you?

Not simply your appearance, your vocabulary, your church attendance, or the way other people see you, but your heart. Has Jesus changed the way you love? Has He changed the way you forgive? Has He changed the way you respond when you are hurt? Has He changed what you pursue when nobody is watching? Has He changed your desire to obey Him?

When people see your life, can they see something different because Jesus is living through you?

The work is not finished simply because you have reached the final page of this book. In fact, the final page is an invitation to begin again tomorrow. Wake up and surrender again, pray again, forgive again, trust again, obey again, and follow Jesus again. Every day gives us another opportunity to live differently because we have been changed.

That is what I have learned through my own journey. I do not have to become someone else to be used by God, and I do not have to hide the things that make me different. I do not have to pretend that I never struggle. I simply have to continue giving my life to Jesus and allowing Him to change what only He can change.

My autism is part of my story, but it is not the ending of my story. My struggles are part of my testimony, but they are not the author of my testimony. My failures are part of my past, but they do not have the final word.

Jesus does.

And He Is Still Changing Me.

That may be the most honest statement I can leave with you. I am changed, but I am still being changed. I have grown, but I am still growing. I have surrendered, but I still have more to surrender. I have learned, but I still have more to learn. Through every part of that journey, Jesus has remained faithful.

So when you close this book, do not simply ask whether you are different. Ask whether Jesus is being seen in you.

Ask whether Jesus is being seen in you.

Because the greatest story you will ever tell is not the story of how you changed yourself. It is the story of how Jesus Christ found you, loved you, forgave you, transformed you, and continues to change you every day.

That is my story, and if you will allow Him, it can be yours too.

To Jesus Christ Be All The Glory.